Stifle Copies of Myself.

This is me, right now. Well, except right after this, I put on another shirt. Hahha

I just talked to Liz right now WHILE she was on.. the toilet. Doing her thang.

I didn't believe it, but then came the realization of the invention called "video chat".

She proved it, she did.

Tonight, I am going bowling with MB, Brett Miller, and Evan Mallory.

And I am going to be GOOD. Maybe better than good.

Wish me luck.

"I know its impossible, but you should try to shake it off. And if you really wanna shake it off, you gotta re-arrange us." -M.O.S.

The No Name Snack

Andrew Bravener, you've done it again!

In this video, Andrew, whilst wearing "house pants" makes on the most entertaining and delicious snacks civilization has come across in many many centuries, I am certain.

Yes, it IS amazing. Upon seeing this video,

my friend Marybeth and I looked at each other and said,

"LETS MAKE IT."

And we did, see?

That's my apple there, and Marybeth is still devouring hers off to the left.

Now, get out there and do it! 

The apple "coring" is probably the best part. Well, besides the taste.

IT TASTES LIKE HAPPINESS.

He has another snack, and as soon as we try it (and most likely love it) we will SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD! And people who read this.

Whoever you are.

Sunrise, Sunset, Summer

Oh summer.

Where are you going?

I wish you could stay for awhile, have another round of drinks.

So, here I am. Almost done with my second month of summer. And I've hardly done anything. I am not going to complain, it is partly my fault. I am just going to make a promise to myself and my friends that this summer is far from over and that I am going to do everything in my power to make it 100% more summery than could ever be imagined.

Now for the perfect summer playlist. I have worked on this for a while and think I have a good selection here for anyone wanting to sail over the hills and listen to music while a sun-kissed breeze whips its way through your fluttering eye lashes.

This list is 69 songs long. Yes, 69. Yes, that long. Take it, listen, run with it.

1."Mouthwash" by Kate Nash

2. "Summertime" by Mae

3. "Cheap Sunglasses" by ZZ Top

4. "Jogging Gorgeous Summer" by Islands

5. "Starry Eyed Surprise" by Oakenfold

6. "Keep Your Head" by The Ting Tings

7. "The Party Punch" by Oh No Oh My

8. "I Don't Know Why" by Ben Kweller

9. "Lost!" by Coldplay

10. "Gumption" by Hans Zimmer

11. "Thanks and Praise" by G. Love feat. Jasper

12. "The Re-Arranger" by Mates of State

13. "California Sun" by The Ramones

14. "The Gardener" by The Tallest Man On Earth

15. "Let It Be Sung" by Jack Johnson & Matt Costa

16. "Across the Universe" by Fiona Apple

17. "Sunrise" by Norah Jones

18. "No Sleep Tonight" by The Faders

19. "Summer Girls" by LFO

20. "When I'm 64" by The Beatles

21. "String Song" by Deccatree

22. "Change Clothes" by Jay-Z

23. "The Littlest Birds" by The Be Good Tanya's

24. "California Stars" by Billy Bragg & Wilco

25. "Summer 78" by Yann Tiersen

26. "Drill Me" by Portastatic

27. "School's Out" by Alice Cooper

28. "Summer Skin" by Death Cab for Cutie

29. "Summer Breeze" by Jason Mraz

30. "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies

31. "Life Is A Perception Of Your Own Reality" by Chiodos (CRAZAAAYY GOOOD!)

32. "The Party Song" by Emery

33. "Amsterdam" by Peter Bjorn and John

34. "Summer In The City" by The Lovin' Spoonful

35. "We're at the Top of the World" by The Juliana Theory

36. "Drilling- (P.O.S. REDO)" by Minus The Bear

37. "Time To Pretend" by MGMT

38. "Do You Believe In Magic?" by The Format

39. "Sister Kate" by The Ditty Bops

40. "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey

41. "Far Away" by Ingrid Michaelson

42. "Summertime" by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince

43. "Summersong" by The Decemberists

44. "I Need A Girl" by P. Diddy feat. Usher

45. "Let's Dance To Joy Division" by The Wombats

46."Fortress" by Pinback

47. "You Send Me" by Aretha Franklin

48. "California Girls" by The Beach Boys

49. "Summer Nights" by John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John

50. "California" by Hawk Nelson

51. "This Is A Song" by The Magic Numbers

52. "Never Too Late" by Michael Franti & Spearhead

53. "Love Shack" by The B-52's

54. "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins

55. "The Big Guns" by Jenny Lewis with The Watson Twins

56. "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow

57. "By The Way" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

58. "Magnolia" by Matt Costa

59. "California" by Phantom Planet

60. "The Rock Show" by Blink-182

61. "I Feel It All" Feist

62. "Forever Young" by Alphaville

63. "Summer Sunshine" by The Corrs

64. "The Freest Man" by Tilly and The Wall

65. " Barracuda" by Heart

66. "Dreams Come True" by Randy Edelman

67. "Sweet Darlin'" by She & Him

68. "Steal My Sunshine" by Len

69. "Bohemian Rhapsody" by The Flaming Lips

I do realize that this hardly covers all the perfect summer songs.

There might just be a part two coming real soon.

LIVE YOUR LIFE!

I'm Home and It's My Birthday!

Hello, this is Andrew Bravener.

So, you basically need to watch this.

Watch the crap out of it, for all that is good the world!

He is the talented Fellow I was telling you about. From YouTube/Canada.

A sight for sore eyes.

And the "Strangest Phrase Ever" Award GOES TO....

Okay, Party, Bonus.

"Wayne's World, Wayne's World, Party Time, Excellent, Doodooloodoodoodoodooo!"

I am currently watching this while I get today's To-Do list done.

I was dreading today for some reason. Like today would be a difficult day or something. One of those emotions I couldn't control. But then I had a Fudge Graham Bar, the only thing I like from NutriSystem for lunch, and all those bad feelings disappeared in a poof of deliciousness.

Now for the list:

1. Vaccuum and clean in general. Dust shelves.

2. Call the "High Court" of Riverside about Jury Duty...

3. Find out where to send my film for development.

4. Finish the David Sedaris book.

5. Order new book off Amazon.

6. AA order?

7. Send Kaylee and Bill their card.

8. Write letters to: Hannah, Leah, Liz, Jamie, and Nikki.

9. Finishing Editing The Sparkle Time Show and "Maybe This Year"

10. Print and Fill out summer school forms.... AIOSUEOWIU(!U#!(@!)(**@!&@^

11. Clean shoes. (stepped in some mud...)

So far, that's it. I know there'll be more and I know I probably wont finish this.

Right now, I'm just enjoying the splendor of Wayne Cambell and Garth Algar.

Cabbages and Kings.

I FEEL.

I feel like I should say something. Anything. But I don't know what to say.

Facts:

1. Indiana Jones is an amazing man. He survived a freakin' A-bomb by hiding in a fridge. I mean, really. Who beats that? Chuck Norris? NO. I've HEARD allllll these things about Chuck Norris' magical powers, his unbelievable strength, that he can throw the sun or something, that his tears cure cancer, and his stunning wind-mill kicks, but have yet to actually see them. Say what you will, I shall not be moved.

2. "You are summoned to appear for JURY SERVICE.." were the words printed on a paper inside of an official envelope I received in the mail today. My first Jury Duty. I've always wanted to do this, to see finally why people hate it so much. I figure I would love it. But I am unable to attend. For two reasons. #1 It is in Riverside. Enough said. #2 I was supposed to be there May, 27th. WTF. So my question is.. Is there a warrant out for my arrest? Wow, life just got so exciting and adventurous. If anyone asks, My name is Mildred Plotka.

3. Tonight was a good night. I didn't really think it would be to be honest. No, to be honest, I could say I wasn't looking forward to any plans tonight. Not the plans that were...planned. Anyway. But, after all was said and done and everyone went back to their own homes, I was a sad little bunnie (as murb would say.) The events of tonight were as follows: First, I get ready, then Courtney arrives at my front door, I open it, let her in, compliment her new Death Cab shirt with a shape on it that is either a boat or a building (I know, I know), we started to watch what I had edited so far of our video, Nora's Mom drops her off, she calls me to let her in, I do such things, then we start our video over, we laugh, we watch, Marybeth comes in through the unlocked front door, we all sit in the dark watching the rest of the video, we turn the lights on, play a little SL, I put in The Office, we watch some, I then put in Hot Rod, we don't really watch it, I laugh a lot at moments I catch of the movie, we decide to go out, murb suggests we play the game with the CD's that I made for her where you listen to the movies scores (or just songs from movies) and try to guess what movie it's from, they agree to it, we go around to murb's neighborhood because we need the cheat song list, I scream at the giant gorilla in the people's yard, no one else does, murb then says she desperately needs gas, she gets list, we head for Mann Co., after a couple wrong turns murb get's the gas tank on the right side where the pump is and starts to...pump...gas..., we leave, get in front of the Donut Shop, decide we don't really want it, start driving around town, murb gets a bug in her pants and scares people outside of rally's while frantically searching for the bug, we decide to get dinner/breakfast and name is Dast (similar to Dinch but at a differing time of day), we get through the line, a certain interesting girl gets out of her car to say to murb, see's me, makes a fool of herself because she doesnt want to, nora hides, we all laugh really loud, get our food, don't eat it at the park, head to murb's house to eat it, realize nora's sangmich isnt in the bag, go back and beg them to give it to us, they do with a few unrecognizable spanish words thrown in here and there, we eat in my room, we watch Teen Girl Squad!, a little more YouTube videos, nora doesnt like salad fingers, murb takes nora home, courtney stays while we plot our attack on some apples, we say goodbye when she leaves, I compliment her yet again, but this time on her Aquamarine-esque hair.

That is all. Of the night. Echehhehem.

4. Andrew Bravener from New Brunswick, *somewhere in Canada*. You have stolen the hearts of four teenage girls tonight. I being one of them. Why must your YouTube videos be so.. good?

Good? No, not good. Just charming. And I wish I knew you, I would we could make snacks together and jump on your trampoline all the day long in the forest that is your backyard. I dont know. WE LOVE YOU. Is that weird? I feel like that is so weird. I'm gonna go ahead and say that it is weird, but that I'm also alright with it. But don't worry, I'm not gonna rewrite a song just to say how hot I think you are...like that asian girl did. Big whoops, Keri Ann.

that is all.

P.S.'s and Things:

1. There is a needle sticking out of my lip. I've tested it and my whole is NOT CLOSED. Praise ya, Jesus.

2. I guess I did have some things to say after all.

3. Thanks Crort Gruba for bringing my phone back to me. I am awful at leaving my phone places.

4. Thank you, Adam P. for writing me that letter on the scrap of paper from your journal. I tucked it away in a book and when I wanted to read the book finally, the note fell out and pricked the top of my foot when it tumbled to the ground... perfect timing. :)

5. Sometime I secretly wish that a lot of people read this. Then I secretly un-wish it.

Yes, Mr. Shickadance?

Jim Carrey. Wow. This guy.

He was my first. Hahhaha..

But really. He was. My first ever realization that I loved comedy. In every form. Forever. He sculpted me as a child when I would watch him from behind the couch, so my gramma couldn't see me, play Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. The movie changed my life. Marybeth and I called that our favorite movie of all time and would watch it together at her house when I was finally old enough to call my own shots in the movie world (PG-13 and under, of course.) 

I would quote it all the time, and there is plenty evidence of that in old home movies we have. There would be a quick "re-he-heeealllayyy" I would say in response to something, or I would call someone a "lehhoo-zeh-herrr."

I was Jim Carrey. 

And to this day, He still cracks me up. Everything he does is golden.  I hold on it to it as if it were a part cosmic force of the universe that gave me all my comedic powers and if I let go, the world of laughter would be gone forever. Seriously? Seriously. "Serio." As Nora would say.

I watch this video and for minutes after have to attempt to compose myself. He's my main man.

It's Closing Up!

My piercing hole.

I'm thinking I should get that needle out again and check, but I'm scared to.

Tomorrow I go in to get a new one..

I'm not ready to give it up yet! I still like it.

Earlier, I was looking through an old Seventeen magazine that's just been left lying around the house and no one can seem to throw it away and I saw this headline:

"Learn How To Act and Feel Until You Figure Yourself Out."

Excuse me? What are they teaching these girls? I remember liking that magazine when I was around 13 or 14. Maybe even younger. And I subscribed to it for more than a few years, piling up magazine after magazine in my bedroom shelves. Eventually I would toss a huge pile away, feeling that I learned everything there was to learn from them and keeping only a few especially awesome ones. Then, suddenly I'm actually seventeen years old reading seventeen magazine and I don't like it anymore. I see past a lot of the junk filling its pages and realize that it's all rubbish, minus an article here and there. I found myself arguing with the people in the pages as I would mindlessly flip threw a new one. Sometimes I would toss them aside and not read them at all.

I just don't understand who they are helping. If all the legit articles and interesting things in Seventeen magazine were to be compiled, leaving everything else out, it would only be about twenty pages long, if that. I don't mind the interviews with celebrities, its always interesting to see what they have to say to the dumb questions that the Seventeen Mag. interviewer has to ask. And there are some pages with cool "how to's" and some challenging work-outs here and there. They always have some strange facts to say about your..uh.. VJ. 

Vagina.

But its stupid. I can recommend way better reading material for younger people. 

(Not Cosmo!Girl. Or Cosmo. We cant even get into that at all. Not now. Not ever. Ugh.)

Let me know if you need some help in this area of your life. An area that I am quite familiar with as I have been known to spend the large sum of money at B&N buying magazines..

Also: I am very bored. I feel small. Like a little iceberg in my melting world.

My Ball Fell Off.

No, really. It did.

The ball on my monroe piercing. I've been dreading today...the day my ball would fall off.

And I also hate when these kind of things happen on saturday nights. I need to go get a replacement ball tomorrow and my gramma even agreed to get it FOR me. But will the place be open tomorrow?!?!?!?? Not certain. And I cant wait long. It might......close...up....

UGH!!

So, You Want To Be An Entertainer?

I am highly self-confident. 

At least right now in life. Well, my ego is pretty large. I have quite a number of fears, yes, but fighting those has never been easier. Thanks to PROTECT-O-BALL! 

Not really. 

But I've just come to realize what I really want in life. So many things, too many to list right now, right here. I mean, I know where I want to go, what I want to see, what I want to experience. I know WHAT I WANT. I know what I'm good for. And how much better I can be. My only problem is figuring out how to get there and how to be okay in meantime. There's always meantime. I don't like meantime.

I had Grasso's tonight for dinner. Probably not the healthiest choice, but I hardly remember eating very much at all. I think I was more full of laughter and life than actual food. Alisha invited me to go with everyone (everyone= Alisha, Me, Courtney, Abbie, Makenzie, Alexis, Lori, Megan, Dyani, Hannah, and another Megan) out to dinner then to see the new Sex and The City movie that came out today. Dinner was amazing, as always, and everyone had a good time laughing and all their fave carbonated bev's. (This make me think of Bev Mo! Weird store.) The movie was pretty pornographic, actually. So many boobs and butts and sex and sexual words and grunting and sweating and the word f*** and groping and that one threesome. Wow. Hahhah. But it's kind of like some porn in the middle of a spongebob movie. Just close your eyes, do whatever you gotta do, and then move on and enjoy the rest of the movie. It's different that you're average really dirty movie because it's in lives of these fours very interesting women and...sex happens. And it was very enjoyable, all in all. (TWSS!) Besides the boom mics that were visible %15 of the time and the crappy audio at the end during all the magical parts. But that still didn't break any of the Carrie Fever going around the theater.

I really hardly ever eat during the day at all anymore. I cant remember the last time I had a decent breakfast and it's been about a week since I've had lunch. There's always a dinner, I have to eat that. Because if I don't I will wake up in the middle of the night with strong temptations to eat the very delicious assortment of treats in kitchen that we keep around for my Grampa, the man with biggest sweet tooth. I think maybe that's just how Grampa's are. Perhaps. I don't mean to generalize. Well, actually I do. Accept it.

I'm not very fond of apostrophe's. I am also not very fond of the following: mushrooms, Junior mints, bad breath, wool blankets (wool coats are okay.), Kevin Bacon, colored pencils, Chanel No. 5, rye bread, apples on a salad, pineapple on pizza, when movie theatre food costs more than your movie ticket, my Grampa's driving, egg foo young, and empty malls (they're creepy.)

But I do miss how the food in the caf sometimes looked like a type of bird.