I'll Hold Your Hands

Today, I gave my presentation in English class concerning my final research paper. I wanted to jump off a cliff, I was so nervous to actually present it. 

Here is why. I really have yet to finish it. But somehow, I got away with actually presenting something that technically doesn't exist yet. Completely. 

So, yeah. I lied, really. But it felt so so good. To be DONE!

And, to be honest, I was about to lie again. I was going to say that because I presented today on my research topic of Fear-Mongering and the history of propaganda, it got me to thinking about fear and what we fear and what makes us scared or sad. (I say this because, actually, if you think about it, what makes you sad, also you maybe could be kind of afraid of, incredible intense sadness. I don't know anyone who could say they were not afraid of having to experience that, ey.)

But, in all actuality, I just thought of one sad thing tonight while talking to Nora, and then eventually a whole list formed right here in my moleskine.

And here it is. Sad things, part one:

- the word "soon."

- when you find a really good song that is made of the wrong season (e.g. a summery song like "Breeze" by Apollo Sunshine found in the dead of winter.)

- damaged bird feathers just lying on the ground.

- dying flowers (depends on why they are dying, too. or who or what they came from)

- what people in China do to dogs.

- car accidents (never ever happy. ever.)

- having lovely handwriting at most inopportune moments (like right before you go to bed) and knowing that before you can say "caligraphy" your handwriting will be back to its normal boring self.

- listening to music for a long and then turing it off.

- the end of the movie Big Fish

- when you walk into someone else's home and the residents there are fighting and yelling at one another. And you can hear it. And almost feel it.