The Fog.

"My car, my rules." - Meredith from the Office (on the episode "Women's Appreciation" that I am watching. Right. Now.)

Here is my recollection of my journey home last night (It's going to get weird.) :

Last night, I experienced a car ride the likes of which I could never have imagined even whilst sitting on the wildest dream cloud. Steppanie (what I called her during our trial run of the Office board game), Courtney (what the guys at the strip club call her), and Lucy the Puppy (what the "Others" from LOST call her) accompanied me on this car ride. No one could have possibly forseen the occurrences just as much as anyone could have prevented them. The sky was darkened and the night pungent with mischievousness and scandalocity. The air was clouded by the fog of the inland empire's lonely waitresses and ladies of the night dangerous and habit-forming deeds. The steam from the engines of trains blurred our vision as we entered the realm of the freeway spirits. All of us were so drunk with the perfumes of Riverside's night life, we did not notice an addition to our company. A fifth passenger was amongst us in the car, the most powerful of all things. Comedy.

Something happened, I can't remember exactly when. But suddenly, a strange warmth came over all of us, moisture collected on the windows' glassy surfaces and we fell into the deep pool of hilarity and ardent jesting. Once the fever sets in, there's nothing that can be done, but to attempt to stay alive until we have reached the other side... of the freeway. Almost at once, I began to choke on the sweet sting of St. Laughter's marmalade dancing down my throat. Hallucinations began before we could control ourselves and the ghost of Christmas Never joined our party in the form of the reincarnate President Ellis. Upon dismounting his staircase of despair, his native tongue got the best of him as we attempted to persuade him to leave our midst. But no incantation could relieve us of applauding him until he was finished with metaphorically boiling our blood. 

After a severe horror shock, the car ride was interrupted by the morally and literally blinded men on the roads out to kill the wild youth. Corruption corrupted the courtesies of couriers and we parted ways. I walked the best of nine steps, we hollered our goodbye's once again, and separately fled into the night. Even fear of not being able to enter my own abode overcame me as I gently trod towards the hearth. Another inhabitant of my home banished my fear even with her vagueness and allowed me to come inside upon bidding me "You got it!" via messaging using text that seemed quite instant, to say the half of it.

A unique night, I must admit. To be truthful, I doubt a night much like this one is not too far off from happening again. My molecules can taste it in the blustery night winds.